September Is “Make-It-Happen” Time: Is It Time to Start Therapy?

Can you believe we are already in September?

When I think about September, I think of “make-it-happen” time.

Summer is winding down. The children are returning to school. Vacations are ending. Schedules are becoming more structured, and many of us are kicking things back into gear.

And suddenly, we realize:

There are only four months left in the year.

Remember those goals you wrote down in January?

The things you said you were going to change?

The boundaries you were finally going to establish?

The relationship you knew you needed to stop returning to?

The healing you said you were going to pursue?

The life you said you wanted to build?

Was starting therapy somewhere on that list?

Maybe you told yourself:

This year, I am finally going to deal with this.

But somehow January became March. March became June. Summer came and went.

And now, Daughter of the King, here we are.

September.

Perhaps it is time.

What Keeps Happening Every Time Father God Opens a Door?

Have you ever prayed for Father God to open a door—and then when He does, fear makes you question whether you are qualified to walk through it?

Maybe you have asked Him for a new opportunity, but when it arrives, thoughts begin racing through your mind:

What if I fail?

What if I am not ready?

What if they discover I am not as capable as they think I am?

What if I make the wrong decision?

So you procrastinate.

Overthink.

Second-guess yourself.

Talk yourself out of opportunities.

Or find a perfectly reasonable explanation for why now isn't the right time.

Then months later, you are frustrated because you are still in the same place.

Sometimes what we call being “careful” may actually be fear.

Sometimes what we call “waiting on God” may be avoidance.

And sometimes what looks like a lack of discipline on the outside may be connected to deeper beliefs, unresolved experiences, anxiety, fear of failure, fear of success, rejection, perfectionism, or feeling that you are not enough.

In therapy, we may describe some of these recurring behaviors as maladaptive patterns—ways of thinking, feeling, or responding that may have developed for understandable reasons but are no longer helping you move forward.

You may call it self-sabotage.

Whatever we call it, the important question is:

Why does this pattern keep happening?

And what would happen if, instead of condemning yourself for it, you became curious enough to understand it?

Why Do You Keep Going Back, Daughter of the King?

Maybe your struggle isn't your career.

Maybe it is relationships.

Life happens.

You become lonely.

You experience a transition.

The children leave home.

The marriage ends.

You relocate.

You lose someone you love.

Your job changes.

You enter menopause.

Your identity begins shifting.

And somehow you find yourself returning to the very person or relationship you already knew was not good for you.

Not necessarily because the relationship suddenly became healthy.

But because it was familiar.

And familiar can feel comforting when life feels uncertain.

You may know intellectually—and perhaps even spiritually—that returning to the relationship is not wise, yet emotionally you still feel drawn toward it.

Daughter of the King, this is where we need both truth and compassion.

Father God's Word calls us to wisdom. So we don’t have to rename an unwise decision to extend grace to ourselves. Instead, we can acknowledge the choice honestly while becoming willing to examine why we keep making it.

What is underneath the pull?

What need are you trying to meet?

What are you afraid of feeling if you finally let go?

What does this relationship temporarily provide?

Validation?

Companionship?

Security?

Familiarity?

A sense of being wanted?

Relief from loneliness?

Or is there another fear underneath it all?

Are you afraid you may never meet the mate you have hoped and prayed for?

Are you afraid Father God may not send you a husband?

Have you convinced yourself that having someone—even someone who is not good for you—is better than having no one at all?

Oooo-wee, Daughter of the King. That is something worth examining.

Because fear of being alone can influence the choices we make in relationships, it can cause us to tolerate what we once said we would never tolerate, lower boundaries we worked hard to establish, or return to something familiar simply because uncertainty feels more frightening.

But fear does not have to make your decisions for you.

Are you repeating a relationship pattern you witnessed or experienced in your family?

Are there beliefs about love, rejection, abandonment, worth, or relationships that you have carried with you from one season into another?

And as a Christian woman, are there spiritual concerns about the pattern that you need to explore with biblical wisdom and discernment prayerfully?

Sometimes healing requires us to stop asking only:

“Why do I keep doing this?”

and begin asking:

“What is happening inside of me that makes this pattern feel necessary?”

That is where meaningful therapeutic work can begin.

You Can Love Jesus and Still Need Therapy

I want to say this clearly to the Christian woman reading this:

Seeking therapy does not mean you lack faith.

You can love the Lord Jesus deeply and still experience anxiety.

You can know Scripture and still struggle with negative thought patterns.

You can pray and still need help processing grief.

You can be filled with the Holy Spirit and still carry wounds from your childhood.

You can forgive someone and still need to process what happened to you so that you can finally let it gooooo.

Yes, Daughter of the King—sometimes we need help letting it go.

You can be successful, educated, accomplished, married, single, a mother, a ministry leader, a business owner, a professional—or the woman everyone else comes to for help—and still need a safe place where you don't have to be the strong one.

Faith and psychotherapy do not have to compete.

For women who desire it, Christian Counseling can provide a space where biblical truth and evidence-based psychotherapy work together to address the whole person—mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual.

There are things we pray about.

There are things Father God instructs us to do.

And sometimes, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, Father God places trained people in our lives to help us understand what we have not been able to see by ourselves.

Proverbs 11:14 reminds us of the value of wise counsel.

Therapy Is More Than Talking About Your Problems

One misconception about therapy is that you simply sit in a room and talk about everything that is wrong.

Good therapy should help you develop greater understanding and healthier ways of responding to life.

Depending upon your needs and treatment goals, therapy may help you:

• identify patterns of thinking that contribute to anxiety, depression, fear, or self-doubt;

• recognize emotional triggers and understand what is underneath them;

• examine beliefs you have carried about yourself for years;

• develop healthier boundaries;

• improve communication and relationships;

• process grief, betrayal, disappointment, or major life transitions;

• recognize patterns that keep pulling you toward unhealthy relationships;

• grow in understanding and embracing your identity in Christ as a Daughter of the King;

• develop practical coping and relaxation skills;

• challenge fear-based thinking and replace distorted thoughts with more balanced, truthful ones;

• develop greater confidence in Christ as you make decisions; and

• understand how your Christian faith can support your healing and growth.

As a Christian Therapist, one of the approaches I use is Scripture-based cognitive reframing.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps us examine the relationship between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. When Christian Counseling is integrated according to a patient's beliefs, preferences, and treatment goals, we can also examine whether the thoughts she continually rehearses agree with truth.

For example:

“I am going to fail.”

“Nobody will ever love me.”

“I cannot handle this.”

“I will always be this way.”

“I am not qualified.”

“Something bad is going to happen.”

Those thoughts can influence how you feel and how you behave.

Romans 12:2 teaches us about the transforming power of a renewed mind.

Therapy can become a place where you learn to slow down, recognize what you are thinking, examine what is true, understand what may be driving the pattern, and begin responding differently.

But How Do I Choose a Therapist?

This is important.

Not every therapist is the right therapist for you.

Credentials matter.

Training matters.

Clinical competence matters.

But the therapeutic relationship matters too.

Look for a therapist who is appropriately licensed to provide services where you live and has experience addressing the concerns bringing you to therapy.

Ask about the therapist's clinical approach.

And if you are seeking Christian Counseling, ask specifically what the therapist means when they use the words “Christian,” “faith-based,” or “spiritual.”

There is an important distinction here.

A therapist can be highly trained in psychotherapy and respectful of your Christian beliefs without personally sharing those beliefs. Such a therapist may be able to provide competent psychotherapy that respects your faith and allows your beliefs and values to be discussed as part of treatment.

But that is not the same as the Christ-centered Christian Counseling I am describing here.

When I speak about Christian Counseling, I am referring to psychotherapy provided from within a Christian worldview by a therapist who personally believes in the Lord Jesus Christ, believes the Word of God, understands the importance of Scripture in the life of a believer, and seeks the guidance of the Holy Spirit while also utilizing appropriate clinical knowledge and evidence-based psychotherapeutic interventions.

For me, the Holy Spirit is not simply a patient's religious concept that I acknowledge during therapy.

He is the Counselor, Helper, and Spirit of Truth whom I personally know, believe in, and depend upon.

That creates a meaningful distinction.

A therapist cannot authentically practice from a spiritual conviction she does not personally hold. She can respect your belief in the Holy Spirit, but respecting your belief in Him is different from personally believing in Him, knowing Him, and intentionally seeking His guidance.

This does not mean that a therapist who does not share your faith cannot be highly skilled, compassionate, ethical, or clinically effective.

It means that clinical competence and spiritual alignment are two different considerations—and when you are specifically seeking Christian Counseling, you may decide that both matter to you.

Psalm 1 reminds us of the importance of the counsel we receive. The blessed person does not walk in ungodly counsel but delights in the instruction of the Lord.

So, Daughter of the King, it is appropriate to prayerfully consider who you allow to counsel you.

Don't assume that “faith-based,” “spiritual,” and “Christian Counseling” mean the same thing.

You have permission to ask questions.

You may want to ask:

How do you integrate Scripture and Christian beliefs into psychotherapy?

Will my Christian faith be respected and incorporated into treatment according to my preferences and treatment goals?

Do you have experience working with the concerns that are bringing me to therapy?

What therapeutic approaches do you use?

What can I expect during my first session?

And if shared Christian faith is important to the kind of Christian Counseling you are seeking, you may also want to ask:

Do you personally have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ?

Is your approach to Christian Counseling grounded in the Bible?

Do you believe Scripture is inspired by God, as described in 2 Timothy 3:16?

What role does the Holy Spirit have in the Christian Counseling you provide?

How do you integrate your Christian worldview with your clinical training and psychotherapeutic interventions?

These are reasonable questions when you are intentionally seeking Christ-centered Christian Counseling, rather than psychotherapy that simply accommodates your spirituality.

And pay attention to the therapeutic relationship.

Do you feel heard?

Respected?

Safe enough to be honest?

Can you ask questions?

Does the therapist listen without immediately making assumptions about you?

Can you disagree, express uncertainty, or say that an intervention does not feel helpful?

A healthy therapeutic relationship does not mean your therapist will always tell you what you want to hear.

But neither should Christian Counseling become a place where you are beaten down with Scripture, shamed, spiritually intimidated, or made to feel condemned.

There is a difference between biblical truth that lovingly challenges us and using Scripture without compassion, wisdom, or sensitivity to a person's circumstances.

Sometimes therapy involves being lovingly challenged.

Sometimes we have to examine patterns we would rather avoid.

Sometimes growth is uncomfortable.

But therapeutic challenge should occur within an environment of dignity, compassion, empathy, respect, acceptance, and sound clinical care.

Daughter of the King, Maybe It Is Time

There is something I want to say to the woman who has been reading this and thinking:

“She is talking to me.”

Maybe I am.

Maybe you have spent years taking care of everybody else.

Maybe everyone thinks you are doing fine because you have learned how to function while hurting.

Maybe you have prayed about the same situation repeatedly but haven't taken the next step Father God has placed before you.

Maybe you are tired of repeating the same relationship pattern.

Maybe fear keeps showing up whenever opportunity knocks.

Maybe you are entering a new season—menopause, empty nest, divorce, retirement, caregiving, career change, relocation, grief, or singleness—and the woman you were in the previous season doesn't quite fit where you are going.

Maybe you don't need another year of saying:

“One day I am going to work on me.”

Daughter of the King, you matter too.

Your mental health matters.

Your emotional well-being matters.

Your relationships matter.

Your peace matters.

Your purpose matters.

And your healing matters.

There Are Still Four Months Left

January may be gone.

But the year isn't over.

You don't need January 1st to make a new decision.

September can become your reset.

Four months is enough time to begin learning something about yourself.

Four months is enough time to start establishing boundaries.

Four months is enough time to begin challenging unhealthy thought patterns.

Four months is enough time to stop running from something that needs your attention.

Four months is enough time to begin.

You don't have to have everything figured out before you start therapy.

You simply have to be willing to take the next step.

Perhaps finishing strong this year isn't about accomplishing everything on your New Year's resolution list.

Perhaps finishing strong means finally addressing the thing that has been keeping you from moving forward.

Daughter of the King, what could change if you stopped postponing your healing?

Finding Christian Counseling

If you are looking for a Christian Therapist, take your time and ask questions. Look for someone whose clinical training addresses your needs and whose approach to Christian Counseling is consistent with what you are seeking.

At Oasis Counseling & Restoration, LLC, I provide Christ-centered, biblically based Christian Counseling integrated with evidence-based psychotherapy for women navigating anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship concerns, grief, identity, and other emotional and psychosocial stressors.

My role is not to live your life for you or make your decisions for you.

My role is to provide a clinically sound and compassionate space—an Oasis—where you can slow down, exhale, explore what is happening beneath the surface, identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck, and develop healthier ways of thinking, responding, and moving forward.

But ultimately, I am not the One who transforms you. The Lord Jesus does.

Romans 12:2 reminds us that transformation occurs through the renewing of the mind. Christian Counseling can provide a place where clinical interventions, biblical truth, and your Christian faith come together as you become more aware of unhealthy patterns, renew the way you think, and allow the Lord Jesus to transform you from the inside out.

When Christian Counseling is part of your treatment goals, biblical truth is not an afterthought—it becomes an intentional part of the therapeutic process.

You have spent enough time asking:

“Why do I keep doing this?”

Maybe Father God is blessing you with this September to begin discovering the answer.

Maybe He is calling you to stop postponing what needs your attention.

Maybe this is your season to do something different.

Finish strong, Daughter of the King.

Not by doing everything.

But by becoming intentional about what Father God has placed before you in this season.

Your next chapter does not have to repeat your last one.

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God’s Oasis for Women: A Place of Healing, Renewal, and Restoration

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